Instead, I was having a discussion with fiance yesterday (yep, he’s fiance now! ) about what we miss about college. At first, I was thinking, “oh, I miss just about everything. Only having class a couple hours a day, living with my best friends, partying whenever I wanted, entire classes about case studies (nerd, I know) …” and on and on and on.

Then, I got to thinking. This lifestyle wasn’t terribly fulfilling or rewarding. Seriously, there’s a sort of short-term joy that comes from getting a great grade on a paper you started 8 hours prior to the due date, and drinking with friends spurred some of my greatest memories from college. Hell, I met my fiance there and we managed to get through three years of dating at one of the bigger party schools on the west coast. (We did it in style, in case you’re wondering.)

The answer I came up with? NO.

While it may not always seem like it when I have to get up in the dark at 6 am and commute on buses for nearly 2 hours of my day, or when I am pretty much the sole housekeeper of our apartment, but the lifestyle I lead today is so much more rewarding — personally — than that which I lived in college. Let’s run down the list:

• Classes a few hours a day: The reality is, I spent a lot of time doing homework. My classes were mostly comms, English and sociology, three of the most reading- and writing- intensive majors at our school. In no way am I trying to say I kept up with all the textbook reading (I think we all know how that is), but I certainly devoted more than 15 hours a week to school. Today? I work between 40-50 hours a week doing something I’m (surprisingly) passionate about, for a company and a team that is very good about respecting work/life balance. I get a shocking amount of time off, and my manager has not only not balked when I ask to take it, but strongly suggested I take more over the holiday break. Win.
• Living with my best friends. It sounds cliche, but I already live with my best friend. I sincerely hope I never take this for granted, and after all the long distance we’ve done, I don’t think I will. Additionally, I now live within an hour of almost every single one of my best friends. I wish I saw them more, but it’s fascinating to me that when we hang out, it’s pretty clear how we’re all growing up together. Some (most) of these people have either known me for 20+ years, or have seen me in that great limit-expanding college stage, and it blows me away that we’ve gone from just getting absolutely shitty together, to talking about square footage, mortgages, marriage, kids, and more. It sounds dull, but there’s something very special about having these discussions with someone who has grown up with you.
• Partying whenever I want: Truth be told, I could still party whenever I want. I make enough money to spend money on the sorts of snobby booze that I adore (craft beer and canadian whiskey, oh my), and there’s certainly no shortage of beer festivals and breweries to visit. (My parents actually bought us memberships to the Washington Brewers League for Christmas.) That said, I’ve come to realize that I feel better when I take care of my body. Going out big is fun every once in a while, but with age comes wisdom, and the wisdom I’ve gleaned says I HATE BEING HUNGOVER MORE THAN ALMOST ANYTHING ELSE ON EARTH.
• Entire classes about case studies: Please get past the point that this is unreasonably nerdy. I read case studies in my spare time, for everything from corporate responsibility to lawsuits to crisis communications. Most are PR-related, some are not. This started in college. It was awesome. That said, part of my responsibility for my job is to OWN the entire evidence function of our team. That means I GET PAID TO READ CASE STUDIES and figure out how to best leverage them. Compete, mission-critical, business intelligence … you name it. I think I shocked my boss with how excited I was to get this opportunity.

College was awesome at the time, but stepping back to look at my life now vs. my life then makes it pretty clear. Live is awesome now, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. That said, the one thing I absolutely do not miss about college? Perpetually being hungover. (See point 3 above, and the title of this post.)

Currently loving: “Somebody that I used to know” by Gotye, Pinterest (if you want an invitation I will send you one), The League

Monday I begin my gig at a PR firm in Bellevue. I’ll be back to normal working hours, regular commute … ROUTINE. After months of not having a regular schedule, I’m looking forward to this. Can you tell?

Also, the firm has been nothing short of amazing so far. I always have all the information I need, and they are extremely prompt about responding. So far, the expectations of me are made very clear (and I’m still excited), and they seem very eager to make sure that I integrate fully (not necessarily quickly, either). While I predict that I’ll be thrown into things pretty fast (we have a huge event mid next month), they estimate it generally takes six months for people to be fully acclimated. I appreciate that … not only because it helps me put a little bit less pressure on myself, but also because it gives me a goal to beat

In celebration, I definitely went out and spent a few hundred dollars on biz/biz-cas clothes that actually fit. I haven’t had to wear a lot of this part of my wardrobe since Florida (we didn’t really dress up at my former PR gig), and losing 25 pounds has definitely impacted the way they fit me. SUCH cute stuff on sale at GAP! Blazers on sale for 60% off. I die.

That brings me to my next point … I’m kind of worried about this. I’m absolutely positive that working at a restaurant has only helped my weight loss. Sort of counter-intuitive, but I’m on my feet for 6-11 hours at a time, carrying SERIOUSLY heavy stacks of plates. It’s not unusual for me to break a sweat at work. In addition to this, I’ve been pretty good about working out (or at least walking … thanks, shin splints). What worries me about this is that I’m going from being on my feet for a good part of each day to being on my seat for a good part of each day. As far as I’m concerned, this is going to impact weight loss and maintenance. I’m pretty happy where I am, and I don’t want to lose all my hard work!

These are the biggest issues for me:

• As previously stated, going from “pretty active” to “sedentary”
• I am sometimes good about eating lunch I bring from home, but being in downtown Bellevue means a LOT of temptation for eating out, happy hours, etc.
• I am a stress eater. While being a server is certainly stressful, I clock out and forget about it. I’ve had issues in the past separating “at work” time from “not at work” time, and I worry this will cause me to eat out of stress, again
• Figuring out when the heck I am going to work the gym into my regular schedule

• I don’t know that there’s much I can do about this besides make gym-going a priority. Anyone have experience using an exercise ball at their desk instead of a chair? Every little bit helps, right?
• Invest in materials to make an EXCITING and HEALTHY lunch, and make it the night before (or a big batch of something on Sunday). It may be a little more expensive to stock things like goat cheese, but probably cheaper (both $$ and healthwise) than Chipotle or Boom Noodle 4 days a week, right?
• Get serious about finding more productive outlets for stress. Whether it’s blogging, yoga (which is offered at our local gym), lifting, reading, video games … anything besides eating. Also, keep tea on hand. It’s always seemed to help, and hopefully I will begin to choose that over a 5th cup of coffee (yeah … I’m up to 4 a day already)
• I talked to the guy at the gym, and as predicted, the busiest time for the (tiny) space is after work, 5-8. I have no problem with late-night gym trips, but when it’s all crappy out and I’m warm and cozy in my apartment, full from dinner … it’s a tough sell. Looks like I am going to have to bite the bullet and go before I leave for work at 7. To get a full workout in, that means I will have to get up in the neighborhood of 5 am. The good part about this is that BF is a morning work-out person, and so I’ll have a buddy.

I know it’s easier to keep momentum than to build it initially, so this week I’ve been trying to work out more and clean up the eats. That being said, hormones slapped me in the face and I’ve had a rough two days, diet-wise I went to the gym yesterday (before working 8 hours, awesome idea), and did this “Spring Leg Workout” from Fitnessista about 10 minutes ago. My legs are all wobbly, but it’s a good feeling! I’m also bringing some food to work tonight so I don’t spring for a burrito out of starvation and hormone-charged judgment.

Currently Loving: “LMFAO” station on Pandora for workout music, the clothes I bought on Sunday and Kirby’s Epic Yarn. Started playing it again, and it’s so nostalgic for me

A) BF is here!

B) We’re now in our third month of sharing a 800-sq.-ft. apartment in Lower Queen Anne. I hate parking and I hate traffic, but I am truly unable to express how much I love where we live. I can’t explain how it makes me feel to step outside our building and smell the ocean, hear the trains in the distance, see the sunset on the water. LQA has a great assortment of bars and restaurants, and two major grocery stores and my bank are 3 blocks away. Hipster level: Medium. Fully acceptable.

The view from my neighborhood on a nice day. BOOM

C) I walk or use public transportation to get absolutely everywhere with a Seattle address (this excludes work and parents’ house). If you know me, you know this has been a dream of mine. IT IS AS AWESOME AS I EXPECTED

D) Getting back into baking. The Stand Mixer has a place of serious esteem in our minikitchen … taking up valuable countertop real estate. That being said, I’m making it earn this place. Peach pie, banana bread, zucchini bread, and cookies galore. Good thing I’m walking everywhere …

In other (less cool) news, I hope I’m not the only one who has seen a lot of upheaval in 2011 … and not necessarily the good stuff. While I’ve been pretty lucky, a lot of my friends are facing some pretty challenging situations. I don’t want to get into details, but I’m trying my best to be there for them, and it’s reminding me of the value of friendship … something I’ve sort of been neglecting since we got back from San Diego in June. Resolution: Hang out more with my friends when it isn’t necessary. Working odd hours can make this challenging, but I do miss them.

In closing, check out this 10-item “Checklist for Your Mid-Twenties” that I did not write. While the vocabulary gets a little lofty at times, quite a few of these resonated with me (and, at age 26, I suppose they should, given the title). It may not be off base if you’re a little older, too. It’s kind of shocking sometimes to see the things that you are dealing with explained so succinctly.

Have a great (short) week everyone

Currently Loving: Those cartons of egg whites at the store … no more wasted yolks!, The Head and the Heart (if you’ve never heard of them, please listen … so chill), and zucchini bread. My parents have more zucchini they can handle … good thing the folks at work seem to like my baking!

Seattle image by dherrera_96

That being said, currently dealing with the following:

• A) Long-distance relationships are absolutely awful.
• B) My beloved car got sideswiped (while I was parked, standing next to it) yesterday. Not driveable … extensive damage. Awaiting info from the insurance companies. Carless.
• C) BF is moving up here in June (officially). I need to get my ass in gear regarding making money, saving money and finding us a place to live.

While this week has been a pretty extreme example of how busy I’ve been, it’s fair to say that I usually don’t have a lot of unscheduled time during my days. Even if it’s social time spent hanging out with friends, I haven’t been home lately … at all.

That being said, I had ALL DAY yesterday off, and don’t work until 4:30 this afternoon. When I woke up yesterday morning, I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I’d deep-cleaned my room already this week, cleaned our bathroom, done everything with my taxes except actually PAY them, painted my nails, donated clothes to Goodwill … all of the normal errand-type stuff I usually do was taken care of. Still, it took a good couple hours Friday morning for me to come to terms with the fact that I didn’t have any plans for the day. To further cope, I actually slept for most of the day in front of VH1′s “Top 100 Rock Songs.”

That’s right, I actually slept away my day off. I imagine it was a combination of the following:

• Feeling less-than-awesome after a night of wine tasting, karaoke and miscellaneous cocktails
• Legitimately needed to catch up on sleep
• Anxiety at not having plans. Sleep made the day go by faster.

While the first two are acceptable, the last bullet makes me a little worried. I always considered myself sort of a workaholic, but sleeping away my days off doesn’t really sound like the Lex I thought I knew.

On a slightly related note, I am considering picking up a second serving job at a wine bar in a nearby town. Currently weighing the pros and the cons. Because clearly I need something else on my plate.

Anyway, I guess the point I’m dawdling around here is my inability to be okay with slowing down — even for just 36 hours. Anyone have any coping mechanisms, or am I alone in being this way? I’m okay with being slightly Type A, but this just strikes me as silly.

Currently loving: The Yankees rising to the challenge and putting the Red Sox back where they belong, “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit, dark chocolate with sea salt

image by dannysullivan

Wednesday morning, BF and I started our final countdown. The next time we see each other, he will be on the west coast, having driven across the country. The details of this meetup are still being decided (there’s a wedding we’d like to attend in Napa, and he’d like to just be in the area when it happens), including important details like THE DATES. Looks like he’ll be here in June, though

My time in Orlando was fantastic for several reasons. First and foremost, I saw BF all day every day except for Tuesday (he had to work). I got to go to a Yankees spring training game. We got to do a lot of cooking (something we both really enjoy). I caught up on some movies and TV shows, and I made him watch Despicable Me. I got my sunshine quota (and my sunburn quota, apparently). I also realized that I do not miss the Orlando area at all. I am fully convinced that the only reason I stayed as long as I did was BF and all my friends there. At the risk of being too dramatic, that area is a hellhole to me.

I also learned that I love to travel, but I hate the process of traveling. I experienced the worst flight I have ever taken (when the captain says, “please hold on, we are in for a rough ride” he isn’t kidding) — not just bumpy turbulence, but drops lasting 5-10 seconds in duration … for an hour and a half. I cried not out of fear of crashing (which was interesting to realize), but because I was desperate not to feel that my-stomach-is-in-my-throat feeling you get on roller coasters anymore. I arrived in Minneapolis in one piece, but in tears and with an adrenaline hangover. I also decided that every airport should have a pharmacy that dispenses Valium. I could have used it.

On the bright side, I got to listen to the new Adele album (BF’s computer has all my music, and it was so nice to update!), and I read a LOT: re-read all three Hunger Games books, as well as the second book in the Odd Thomas series, The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan, and I started Alice in Wonderland. I love vacations. I would also recommend any of the above books. Additionally, I decided that it’s too easy to buy books on the Kindle (good for Amazon, bad for me!).

Yesterday was sort of a crash course back into the normalcy of non-vacation life. Sort of jetlagged (3 hours is just enough to be annoying), I drank way too much coffee and managed to jitter my way through a lunch shift. I know I’ve said how much I enjoy my job (and I do), but yesterday it didn’t captivate me the way it has for the last month or so. Oddly enough, this realization coincided with a job interview at a non-profit here in Seattle. It was my first-ever phone interview, and I ended it feeling like I did really well. It was truly a double-sided interview — being employed definitely gives you a chance to better evaluate potential job opportunities without feeling like you have to take them. I enjoyed the conversation I had with the executive director, and I feel like my skill set would be a good match for the job. (It involves RESEARCH!!) The issue is, it’s non-profit and it was a (probably appropriate) red flag that the low pay for the job was mentioned in the first interview.

I’m supposed to hear back in 2-3 weeks, so we’ll see where that goes! I’m spending much of the day Saturday evaluating potential places to live for BF and I — we’ve no idea if we want to look for a place that can accommodate roommates, which neighborhood in Seattle, apartment or rent a house, etc. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I’m really looking forward to it. Talk about a step in the right direction!

Currently Loving: My Kindle (no joke), Fable 2 (got back into it after playing Fable 3 at BF’s place), getting all my bills paid for the month! WOOT

seattle skyline image courtesy of dherrera_96 (I know it’s randomly placed and huge, but I like the photo, darnit)

delray beach, fl sunset photo courtesy of dawnhops

The last 1 2/3 months have been pretty tumultuous for me. In a nutshell:

• My badass (and last living) grandmother Gloria passed away a month and a day prior to her 80th birthday
• I got laid off, with less than a week’s notice
• Long-distance is really starting to take its toll on my relationship with BF.

I think I hardly need to go into my grandmother’s death. Unlike the passing of my other two grandparents, we had time to prepare for this, and she was in so much pain all the time. Privately, her physician told my dad that he couldn’t believe she was still holding on — her body was completely failing. If this makes sense, it was hoped for but unwanted. We held a nice service, told stories about her, and drank Carlo Rossi Sangria in memoriam at a shindig later at her home. I am hesitant to expose family dirty laundry on this forum, but dealing with the estate has been challenging, and unfortunately has brought out the bad side in some folks. However, I cannot say enough good things about the Franciscan Hospice in Tacoma, WA. She spent a little over a month there, and between the massages, daily ice cream carts, and daily allowances of sangria (her favorite), I think her last month was as comfortable as it could have been. Their involvement was truly a blessing.

I am now also a product of the economy — laid off from a corporate job. Yes, I was contract, but it was cut short three months early with 6 days notice. I would also like to note that this is the first job that I haven’t left of my own accord. And, I loved it there, in case I didn’t make that clear on previous posts. I cried a LOT when they told me, I cried a lot all the way home, and I cried really hard when I told BF. While it was strictly a business decision (and my colleagues there have been wonderful in helping me find new career employment), I let it hurt my feelings … inadviseable. I worked so hard there, and I was so disappointed.

That being said, the timing was right. Better last month than the month before BF moves up here, and the bar I’m working at was actually looking for someone to pick up some extra hours — bingo. I’m currently working there full-time, and freaking loving it. I enjoyed working one day a week, but I so love my coworkers, the environment and the fast pace. I can honestly say I look forward to going in to every shift.

Both the bar job and the long-distance are starting to take a toll on my relationship, however. I work odd hours, so BF and I don’t get to talk much. When we do, I guess I come across as terse and uninterested. Clearly that’s not the case on my end, but it’s hard to figure out how to fix it when we only get to talk for about 20 minutes a day. I don’t want to air our shared dirty laundry on here, but we are currently trying to manage each other’s expectations and attitudes in a way that becomes a win-win for both of us. We’re both growing resentful of each other (he of all the fun I’m having up here, at work and socially), and I’m growing resentful of his inaction regarding job searching, committing to a date to move, etc. We’re working on these things because we love each other, but I can honestly say the last couple months have been the most challenging we’ve had in more than 6 years. It’s a good thing I get to go see him on Wednesday!

Anyway, looking forward, I get to spend a week in Orlando (while the fam spends 4 days in Vegas, jealous!), I am really enjoying my job, as un-career as it is, and am still squirreling money away so I can move out in the next couple months. I am spending time with old friends, reconnecting with others, making new ones, and enjoying the hell out of living in the Seattle area. Still glad I moved? You betcha.

Currently loving: “Ratatat” by Lex, SUN DRESSES, and that I’m comfortably back into my early-college Lucky Jeans!!

Everyone Needs This List

• The most destructive habit – Worry
• The greatest joy – Giving
• The greatest loss – The loss of self-respect
• The most satisfying work – Helping others
• The ugliest personality trait – Selfishness
• The most endangered species – Dedicated leaders
• Our greatest natural resource – Our youth
• The greatest shot in the arm – Encouragement
• The greatest problem to overcome – Fear
• The most effective sleeping pill – Peace of mind
• The most crippling failure disease – Excuses
• The most powerful force in life – Love
• The most dangerous pariah – A gossiper
• The world’s most incredible computer – The brain
• The worst thing to be without – Hope
• The deadliest weapon – The tongue
• The two most power-filled words – I Can
• The greatest asset – Faith
• The most worthless emotion – Self-pity
• The most beautiful attire – A Smile
• The most prized possession – Integrity
• The most contagious spirit – Enthusiasm

While I’m still dealing with anxiety in a huge way, it’s amazing to me that just about everything has improved since I’ve gotten a better handle on it, and taken steps to reduce the level of anxiety in my life in the first place. No icky ulcers, more energy, less negativity … and I can drink coffee again

In other happy news, I had a pretty fun minute this morning on the way to work. When I walk to the office, I go by a Maggiano’s, and as I peered in this morning, I saw the ENTIRE crew (like 15 people) do a “go team” group high five and semi-hug. And then I was greeted in the lobby by a Frank Sinatra song. AWESOME.

Hope this day/week bring more positive things your way (and mine)!

Currently Loving: “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele, THIS dress from Rachel Roy, and THIS dress from Suzi Chin. And yeah, I did engage in some retail therapy yesterday after work … it’s a peril of working next door to the mall!

For those of you who have only lived in the Pacific Northwest (or anywhere with substantial mountainous terrain), you may not realize how freaking awesome they are. While I love the beaches of Florida, it always felt like a little something was missing from the horizon. Having grown up in Washington, THERE WAS SOMETHING MISSING.

BEHOLD:

image from ellie

All kidding aside, this is exactly what you would see on a clear day as you went around your business anywhere in the Seattle area (including the Eastside). This, friends, was a part of the backdrop for me. And, I never realized how accustomed I’d grown to mountains until I moved somewhere without them.

Don’t get me wrong, Florida has incredible sunsets and amazingly lush greenery. But when it comes down to it, I still smile every time I catch a view of the mountains around here. This is a shot up on Snoqualmie Pass, about an hour from my house (I-90 runs through the Pass):

image from starmist1

And this was taken at an unidentified point in the Cascades. I’m sure it was massaged with Photoshop, but do you see what I’m getting at? The greenery and mountains up here are &$^%*#@ epic:

image from christygordon

I am kind of struggling right now, because the photos don’t quite do the views justice. It’s one thing to be looking at a photo … and then it’s another entirely to actually see an incredible view like that in person. Particularly so when you are doing something mundane like driving to the dry cleaner, or the grocery store.

Especially when it’s the big daddy:

image from dizfunkshinal

Every. Single. Time. I see this mountain, it makes me happy. While I’m sure the above photo was also Photo-massaged, here’s one that’s not quite the same quality … but Rainier still looks incredible.

image from jay galvin

Imagine seeing that during your commute

That being said,  a “clear day” is required to partake in this natural beauty. And I suppose at that point, the joke is on us. According to Seattle’s Wikipedia entry, the city has — on average — at least partly cloudy skies 294 days a year.

Enough with the photo-ing. My name is Lex, and I %^$#@(* love mountains (even though I can’t ski, board, sled, or climb, and I hate the cold). I still love them.

Currently loving (besides mountains): “Panic Switch” by the Silversun Pickups, this columnist’s response to the question “How do I know if she loves me?” (sent it to BF and apologized for never making him a shark-shaped pancake), fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu comics

The biggest indicator that something wasn’t right was that I had a hard time coming up with stuff that I was “Currently Loving.” Seriously not cool.

There’s been a whole lot of not-fun stuff going on, and it takes a lot of energy for me to stay positive in my interactions with others in the face of it. And, to stay positive to myself (although this tends to slip). Clearly that was manifesting itself in my writing, so I just nixed it for the time being, and figured I’d know when I had things swinging in the right direction again.

Things are still not 100% peachy-keen, but I’m starting to feel at peace with things. As Epictetus says, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” I have no idea who Epictetus is/was, but I really enjoy his way of thinking.

That being said, watch me turn some negatives into positives!

-I haven’t been to the gym regularly since 2010. Waiting for machines makes me really crabby. I’m taking this opportunity to really take in to account what I put into my body. It’s been pretty illuminating. I’m also taking this opportunity to get back into yoga with YogaDownload.com. They have cool podcasts using weights and focusing on cardio!

-For some reason I am less excited about food than normal. Again, this is really good timing for me. Without the usual urges/cravings, I’ve been able to eat pretty clean and identify what foods make me feel good (and those that make me feel not so good).

-Cabin fever is starting to set in at home, and we are all really rubbing each other the wrong way. While I don’t want to air my family’s dirty laundry, there are a few specific things that are going on right now that are exacerbating the situation. This sounds terrible, but since home isn’t always a 100% fun place to be, I am reaching out to friends again for happy hours and weekend adventures. I haven’t seen most people for 3-4 weeks, and I miss them! They are a big part of the reason I moved here, after all.

-I really, really REALLY REALLY miss BF. This period of separation has been so much harder than any we’ve been through before … probably because we built a life together, and I saw him pretty much every day for three years. I did the math last week, and if I continue with my current income/saving pattern, I will be out of credit card debt by mid-March and have more in my savings account than I’ve had since high school. As you can imagine, that sets us up pretty solid for when BF moves up here.

-Taxes are going to be a &%*$# this year. I have 3 W-2s to file, and 1 1099. And, I will probably be paying a LOT. I have been saving faithfully since November, and I will be able to cover the taxes, no sweat, even in a “worst case” scenario of having to dish out 20% of what I made while I was freelancing. Plus, after doing the math (see above), I will still be in good shape by the end of April.

Magic, right? To make up for lost time, here’s a bunch more stuff I’m Currently Loving:

• Got oil changed in my car: Perfect checkup. And, they vacuumed the floor!
• Opened at the restaurant on Saturday, got to listen to Radiohead for about 3 hours straight
• Was told I’m performing very well at the restaurant, I’m a strong, steady go-to worker.
• Got paperwork from BF to register my car in WA. Let the re-plating process commence!
• One of my best friends got engaged on Saturday (I screamed when I got the text, and then called her and screamed AGAIN when she picked up, I am such a girl)
• I bought Kirby’s Epic Yarn – and streamlined my video game to-finish list (it’s kind of intimidating, but I suppose I am up to the challenge)
• This recipe from Serious Eats. I am definitely making this for the Superbowl.

awesome photo from SFB579. Sunrises/sunsets make me happy, so I figured, “why not?”