As an ode to one of my most favorite ranting web sites EVER (I think it says something that the last post was 3 years ago and I STILL love it), “Things I Hate,” I’ve been meaning to create a “pet peeves” post for quite some time. I haven’t decided if I’ll just come back and edit it, or if I should just create new posts when pet peeves arise (because I’m not one of those people who has like 5 … I have about 39029084390184319). We’ll see. Maybe I’ll preface pet peeves posts (tee hee p’s) with “PP.” At least then I can include relevant lolcat photos for each post.
It should be noted that I have a lot of driving pet peeves.
- People who staunchly, STAUNCHLY refuse to get out of the left lane on the freeway, even if they are only going the speed limit. I’m glad you think you are going fast enough, but get out of my way. I want to go faster.
- People who stop when there is no stop sign, and then have the nerve to look at you all exasperated as you wait (at your REAL stop sign) for them to figure it out. This really seems to be a problem at malls down here in Orlando, especially Seminole Town Center and the Oviedo Marketplace.
- Onlooker delays. Need I say more? WTF if I get rear-ended I will chase you.
- People who don’t wipe their mouths after taking a messy bite, and instead try to lick the remnants of their food off of their faces. Seriously, who are these people? Were they brought up by wolves?
- People who brag about how much they drink. I know I’ve been over this, but it wasn’t that cool in college, and it’s definitely not cool now that we’re older. In college, you had the “I’m in college” excuse. Now? You’re just pathetic.
- The words, “I’m just being honest.” That is such a passive-aggressive, bullshit cop-out for saying something that offended someone. Not everyone cares about honesty. Have some fucking tact. GOD! Need an example in action? Check out Ramona from the Real Housewives of New York. I want to poke her bug-eyes out every time she pulls this garbage. Also, my bf has been guilty of this in the past. Honesty is not noble.
- People who actually go 25 through toll booths. I know it’s the law, but it seriously cramps the style of people like moi who drive older cars that take FOREVER to get back up to speed.
- People who claim they can’t cook. Yes, you can. I promise. “Cooking” does not always have to be stuffed scallops, souffle, mayo from scratch, or anything else super complicated. “Cooking” might just be spaghetti and meatballs. Just because you failed making something ONE TIME IN THE PAST does not mean you are doomed to a life of culinary fail whale. Fucking try again!
- Failure to know the difference between homonyms. I distinctly remember learning the difference between “two” “too” and “to,” “your” and “you’re,” and my personal favorite, “their” “there” and “they’re” in FIRST FUCKING GRADE. My teacher made us write them on notecards, with the definition on the back, put them on a metal ring that we kept in our desk, and we studied them for five minutes a day. Grammar is not rocket science. It SHOCKS me the amount of educated people I interact with who are not aware of these differences. Even worse are the ones who try and argue with me about it. I will die on this hill BECAUSE I KNOW I AM RIGHT. Lolcats are the lone exception.
- People who ask the same question repeatedly. I understand that people forget. I am one of the most forgetful person I know. But when you ask me the same question every week over a three month period … AND I answer it in writing every time (the last time titled “DON’T DELETE THIS LOGIN INFORMATION”)? Yeah, I’m going to just start fucking with you at that point. Too personal?
- How I am always the most sober person at parties. This is kind of a two-fer … I hate having to take care of selfish, drunk douchebags, but I also don’t want to drink myself under the table just to avoid having to take care of them. That is a no-win. I hate being responsible for the well-being of selfish people.
- How my computer freezes up or goes SUPER SLOW right when I need it to be normal or fast for 2.5 seconds. This usually happens when a reporter or client is on the phone, or if my boss(es) page me out of nowhere looking for an answer.
- People who still insist on sending attachments larger than 10M without letting you know first, and who DON’T GET IT. You are a huge company, and it really slowed down your server for a few hours? That shit will crash our server in a heartbeat and ruin several people’s days.
- When people double space in between sentences. While this may be acceptable in some industries, it is not AP style. Do not try and tell me my business about this. Also, it makes things a nightmare to edit and format.