To start, this isn’t intended to be an attack on anybody’s lifestyle choices.
That being said, I have to be honest: As I peruse Facebook/hear from friends, etc, it sort of freaks me out a little bit that so many are getting married. I know, I’m in my mid-20s, so it’s understandable. But, now the pregnancies are starting.
As an unmarried, cohabitating woman (who has been with my current partner for nearly 5 years), I guess it’s just … unsettling? to see friends move on to other stages of life. I suppose this is really the first time that my group of friends has really had the opportunity to set the pace and direction of the rest of their lives independently of anyone else.
What I mean is, prior to now, my friends were all in school, went to college, etc. More or less, we were all on the same page with where our lives were. It’s been a few years, and those who have been in serious, long-term relationships are now making the leap (and I am very happy for them — going to a wedding for one next weekend). I can pretty much handle this. It did get me on a “talking about weddings” streak that freaked BF out (I insist it was only natural, some of my best friends are getting married. I am going to talk about it).
What really kind of shocked me is seeing friends who are starting a family. I almost wanted to type “already” at the end of that sentence … but that’s not really my place to say. I guess it comes down to the fact that there is no way I would be ready to start a family now, even if I was married — and to be honest, I can’t fathom anyone else being ready at this age, either. (NOTE: This is not me saying they will be bad parents)
The odd thing is that I have older friends, married friends and friends with children, who I’ve met here in Florida — and that doesn’t strike me as odd, or shock me, or freak me out. Perhaps it’s because I’ve known a lot of the girls who are now getting married and having kids since they were 13 … we passed notes in school, got hammered in college, and still catch up every now and again. I admire the fact that they’re willing to take on the responsibility inherent with marriage and childhood, and wish them nothing but the best. I know you should never make decisions based on what others are doing, but part of me can’t help but think: “Am I ready for this?”
This might be part of the ubiquitous “Quarter-Life Crisis” that people talk about. At this point, I’m pretty much free to make some major decisions that will impact the rest of my life … as are my friends — and they are making them. Will I have as much to talk to them about? If it’s all newlywed stuff (ESPECIALLY if it’s baby stuff), I don’t have much to bring to the table.
I didn’t expect to come to a conclusion with this blog post, just sort of free-thinking.
Thanks for reading.