Lexd's Blog

I write about what I want!

FREAKING OUT, MAN August 4, 2010

Filed under: other — lexd @ 4:09 pm
Tags: ,

Okay, so sometimes deep breathing doesn’t always work. Anxiety is at an all-time (we’re talking 25+ years all-time) high right now. We’re re-adjusting the moving contract so I don’t have to worry about cramming our lives into 12 boxes (this was a major relief, seriously, shoot high if you ever have to do this). This is helpful.

What’s stressing me out at this point is money.

BF and I have managed to live a fairly comfortable life over the past 3 years. I wish we could put more money away, but we’re really trying to eat away at our debt.

As of August 1, I am almost maxed out everywhere. In order to pay for this move and to move my car (and to give BF money for bills and pay my own bills), I will be left with not even $50 to my name, one maxed-out credit card, and another card with a cushion of about $300. I’ve already had two freak-out crying sessions today and it’s not even noon yet. I know that these things will get better once I have income again (half of which is already addressed), but this transition period is enough to make me constantly nauseous.

And then, I started to think about people who are in this situation or one worse every single day. I can’t imagine having to function under this level of stress. It’s already making my stomach hurt all the time and making it hard for me to sleep. 😦

Some things that have made me feel better, when I’ve been at my worst:

  • HARD EXERCISE. No joke, I was up at 5:30 AM Monday because I couldn’t sleep (this never happens, you could set a clock to my normal sleep schedule), and so after packing, I took my first hour-long spinning class in three months. It kicked my ass (I was a sweaty mess after), but it made me feel SO much better. Unfortunately I cannot say the same for yesterday’s workout (dead iPod = low drive to push myself). I bet yoga would feel great, too. I should see if I can find my mat. (OVERZEALOUS PACKING MONSTER)
  • WORK EVERYTHING OUT ON PAPER. Not only am I painfully touchy-feely, but I am also painfully visual. So, when BF is talking me through the financial stuff over the next 3 weeks, it only confuses me more and makes me cry (breakdown #1 of today). So, I hung up the phone and set out to work it out myself. I created a weird timeline/payment plan hybrid document that details how much money I’ll have, what I need to do with it, when, so that all my ducks are in a row. Then, I had BF review it. I feel better about things now. I mean, it sucks that I’ll be left with $50 (and 5 weddings to buy presents for! YIKES), but I feel like I have a handle on where things are going.

That being said, time to go to the gym. Lex out.

Currently loving (egads this was hard to come up with today): Happy hour with coworkers at my old job at Gators this evening, BF is meeting with LawyerDad (his) to make some headway with the stupid insurance bills, Heaven in a Glass Smoothie after I work out!


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