I know, I know, I know. I’m terrible at updating this thing, and have been lately. Busy, travel, etc. You know the deal.
In hopes of making up for it, here’s a poem a few of my friends wrote. For some context, Palmer’s is a real hole-in-the-wall bar here in my hometown that has been around forever … and it is ALWAYS open, even on Christmas. A few of my friends ended up there after their traditional Christmas movie-watching tradition was sold out, and wrote this poem in thanks. As a result, they get free drinks all day on Christmas every year from the crew at Palmer’s.
Without further adieu:
How Palmer’s Saved Christmas
By David, Jason and Mike
This tale starts with a movie on Christmas Day
Just three guys and Brad Pitt; I swear it’s not gay
But the tickets were gone; they were all sold out
“What do we do now,” David said with a pout
So they went to the Tully’s to do some thinking
And with a shrug David said, “Let’s just go drinking.”
So we called all the bars and not one gave an answer
We just wanted to drink and sing “Tiny Dancer”
But they forgot ’bout the bar that in town sucked the least
A little hole in the wall called Palmer’s East
He pulled out his iPhone and called in a flash
“What’s that, you’re open? Hooray! Kick ass!”
“I love you,” shouted Jason and hung up the phone
They’d soon all be drinking and not going home
They fell in behind Jason, who led them astray
“Dammit,” said Mike, “You’ve been drinking all day.”
A left and a left and a left once again,
He led them to placed they’d already been
Their toes were all frozen, but all hope was not lost;
For nothing can warm you quite like the sauce
“It’ll be empty,” said Mike, “And rather depressing,”
But lo and behold Palmer’s was full—a true Christmas blessing!
On Jager, on Stoli, on Cap’n and Henny!
“A pitcher my good man, the first of many!”
On barley and hops, on water ‘n yeast
Their ale was filling, a true Palmer’s feast
And you most of all, little shot of tequila
You’re always there for us when we really need ya
So with bellies full of beer and table full of glasses
Jason, David and Mike were drunk off their asses
So it was there that they sat and drank straight through Christmas
It was depressing that our families did not even miss us
And so ends the tale of how Palmer’s saved Christmas.
I can take no credit for this. But I’d like to.
Currently loving: My job (seriously, not joking/brownnosing), hard-boiled eggs (weird, I know, I know), and Grooveshark (when will Apple let them put their app through!?)